| 28 | | 
Name: | Alex
(alexandra_jaffe@hotmail.com)
| | Date: | 25/02/2006 01:38:40 | | Subject: | Hello Jolyon | | | Well I think this is your website sweetheart... I just found the Steppas pics and am now very very nostalgic. Ah, back in the days! When women were women, men were men and Ducks were.. well no comment.
All is well with me - hope all other past or present flatland dwellers are OK too. Kiss to you Jolyon - and whatever greeting seems appropriate to you, if you are not Heand you have any clue who I am
From Alex | | | | | |
| 27 | |
Name: | Bad Wisdom
(c2o@dsl.pipex.com)
| | Date: | 16/05/2005 19:35:15 | | Subject: | Re: The Beatles | | | I've always maintained that the Beatles are dying in reverse order of talent.
It will be Ringo next. | | | | | |
| 26 | |
Name: | George Lucas
(alan_smithy@lucasfilms.com)
| | Date: | 16/05/2005 11:52:24 | | Subject: | To all staff at ILM/Lucasfilms | | | Dear All, I am pleased to announce that we have won the McCartney contract. Our technological know-how and lack of misguided reverence played a vital part in tipping the balance our way, despite stiff competition from Mr Spielberg and one David Irving. Sir Paul has outlined the following tasks to be actioned immediately: 1. Back of Sgt Pepper sleeve, Paul to face forward, other three to face backwards 2. Extensive airbrushing of With The Beatles sleeve, to remove the three surplus faces that in retrospect merely detract from the main focus 3. Abbey Road sleeve, Paul to be first in line, superimposition of shoes 4. Glass Onion lyric 'The Walrus was Paul' to be sonically altered to the more accurate 'It was all Paul' 5. 'Fool On The Hill' all audio/visual references to 'Fool' to be replaced by 'Modest Genius' 6. Much of the Lennon-McCartney songwriting credit alteration is already well underway but there are some that have slipped through the net, viz 'I Need You', 'While My Guitar Gently Weeps', 'Piggies' and 'Something' please amend to 'McCartney' forthwith 7. The final 's' to be removed from the word 'Beatles' in all areas | | | | | |
| 25 | |
Name: | Kilroy Silk
(Kilroy@veryarse.com)
| | Date: | 06/05/2005 02:19:18 | | Subject: | Important Announcement | | | During my campaign, some of you may have got the impression that my politics were slightly right of centre. I assure you, this was never the case. Live and let live, I say. Share and share alike. With this in mind, can anyone lend me a fiver 'till Tuesday? I think I may have been a bit optimistic on the deposits front... | | | | | |
| 24 | |
Name: | Joseph Ratzinger
(benedict16@vatican.org)
| | Date: | 20/04/2005 13:56:00 | | Subject: | Heil Mary | | | People of ze World, I am your new Pontiff. I hope my tenure at the Reichstag, sorry Watican vill be produktiff und zat ve can now go ahead wiz ze Final Solu...er, ze continuation of ze fine verk of my genetically inferior predecessor.
Zose who vish to register complaints zat I have von vizout even entering ze competition should meet me at ze alleyway behind KFC in Via Garibaldi. Don't forget not to tell anyvun vhere you are going.
Joseph Ratzinger
PS Please could you schtop asking me for my autograph. I voz never in Cheers and do not know who zis Clifford Claven is | | | | | |
| 23 | |
Name: | Nathan Barley
(nathan@trashbat.co.ck)
| | Date: | 13/04/2005 18:04:16 | | Subject: | Pope Idol | | | I should be pope because... you don't get more Catholic than 'peace and fucking'!!!
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| 22 | |
Name: | Terry G
(gilliam@python.com)
| | Date: | 12/04/2005 16:23:27 | | Subject: | Pope Competition | | | I think I should be Pope because...
1. Are you kidding me? You need someone to helm a visually stunning but ultimately financially unviable fantasy project?? Come on!!
2. What shady past? No man, you're confusing me with Terry J, he was into the whole heresy thing, not me, uh-uh, no sirree
3. We've got lumps of it...round the back | | | | | |
| 21 | |
Name: | Roger Waters
(oldpink@funnyfarmchalfont.co.uk)
| | Date: | 09/04/2005 13:37:18 | | Subject: | Pope Competition | | | I think I should be Pope because...
1. Inscrutable lyrics, bombastic staging & rampant mysogyny for starters
2. Personally instigated and oversaw demolition of The Berlin Wall, 1990
3. Successful experience of replacing a seemingly irreplaceable leader | | | | | |
| 20 | |
Name: | Michael Winner
(barbara_cartland@nickmason.org)
| | Date: | 09/04/2005 02:41:41 | | Subject: | Pope Competition | | | I think I should be Pope because...
1. I've got cash, pots of it
2. My good friend God, over dinner at the Ivy, said to me, Michael, you really should become Pope. I couldn't help but agree
3. Communion wafer should be served with a room temperature Chateau Petrus '59, not that ghastly dessert muck | | | | | |
| 19 | |
Name: | Harrison Ford
(presidentindyhan@franchise.net)
| | Date: | 09/04/2005 01:28:22 | | Subject: | Pope Competition | | | I think I should be Pope because...
1. Ford Pontiff would make a great name for a car, bringing millions into the Vatican coffers
2. I don't mind working with material that you can write but you sure as shit can't say
3. I'm HUMBLE, in my spare time I'm a CARPENTER...do I have to draw you a PICTURE?
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